Time to grow

Our garden has been both our haven and our classroom these last few months. When we first moved to this house the raised beds were absolutely heaving with produce thanks to the hard work of the previous owner. We loved picking the peas straight off the plant and finding out about kohlrabi.

I hoped it would all reappear the following summer but sadly in the busy-ness of life and the first year in a new house we didn’t have time to do what was needed. 

This year has been different. Restricted to only our house and garden we’ve had plenty of time for gardening. It’s been a great opportunity to teach Quinns and Big Sister (and me!) all about growing plants, composting and wildlife. It tied in well with Big sister’s  topic of biodiversity adding some practical experience to the written work set by her school.

Quinns of course has been completely involved in it all. He loves holding the trowel and helped plant lots of seeds. 

Photo of Quinns holding a green trowel moving soil from a plastic container into a plant pot guided by an adult hand

Our lockdown routine involved going out to the garden each evening to make sure everything was watered. Right from the start Quinns helped by holding the watering can. We soon invested in a hose and it really goes without saying that he now loves holding the hose to water the plants (and yes Big Sister does occasionally get wet!)

Photo of Quinns holding the hose to water fruit bushes supported from behind by Dad

Our evening strolls unearthed an army of snails that crawl around in the dampness. Sadly for them we have taken to picking them up and putting them back in the compost heap along with our food scraps from the kitchen. Usually Quinns impressively screws his face up when he feels new textures but to my amazement he actually seemed to enjoy the experience of having a snail on his hand!

It must be a love / hate relationship though as a naughty one ate its way through all his sunflower seedlings while leaving Big Sister’s alone. In good home school style we replaced his with the science experiment seedlings we’d planted in a glass jar. Putting up the snail defences of eggs shells and cloches quickly became another part of our evening routine.

I’m glad to report that despite a rocky start the new sunflowers are flourishing and while they may not be as tall and strong as Big Sister’s they continue to grow and develop at their own pace.

Photo of two pots each holding sunflowers which have grown to different heights

I am so grateful to have had this time together and this space to grow.

 

 

I’m fine

 

I’m fine. Or at least that’s what my photographs from the last eight weeks show.

Photo of a frog stuck in a plant pot

In reality I’m not fine. I’m processing a major event along with the rest of the world. It’s hard to admit that life is difficult when you know that it’s tough for everyone. Everyone has circumstances that make this situation difficult whether it’s isolating alone or as a working parent; losing a job or doing a job that’s particularly demanding. Everyone is doing what they can and hopefully communities are rising to the challenge of supporting each other just as ours has.

For us the shutters came down around our family of four a week earlier than lockdown. My instinct was to protect Quinns as I felt he was particularly vulnerable. I questioned myself constantly for several weeks before we finally received his shielding letter. The letter brought a certain amount of relief. Knowing that my instinct was right and that professionals agree is comforting. It doesn’t however bring back the support that we are missing.

We’ve gone from a team that couldn’t fit in the school’s biggest meeting room to just the three of us looking after all of Quinns’ needs while Dad works full time at a stressful job from home and Big Sister is home schooled.

There’s no longer the same NHS input as those who support us have been redeployed to cover other areas. On a practical level I have been unable to get the bigger size in Quinns’ support shoes from orthotics and have no hope for the next few months.

At the beginning of lockdown Dad had to fix the headrest on Quinns’ chair while receiving instructions on the phone from the rep. Later that day the rep was furloughed. For a while now a bit of the chair falls off periodically. We simply stick it back in.

Quinns’ three Nursery days a week provided not only education and socialisation for him but also space for me. He had the benefit of 1-1 support in the classroom while personal care was provided 2-1. Now it’s me providing it all and my much needed space is non-existent. My one saving grace is his classmate, Big Sister who also covers as my teaching assistant and occasionally additional support for personal care.

We chose to stop the carers who came into our home a couple of times a week to help us out. The risk to us and others was too great and we felt we could manage. However with grandparents all isolating in their own homes there’s absolutely no hope of respite. My only relief is when Dad manages to take holiday from work.

Much as I have wanted to I have not had the time or energy to write. I have however tried my best to keep up with developments. There have been times when I’ve desperately wanted to shout about frailty guidelines, DNR letters and serious changes to legislation. It rang so true when I read recently that it’s difficult to write when you are afraid.

‘We are all safe and well and making the most of our time together’ is my cover story for a level of exhaustion and anxiety that is off the chart.

Knowing that we are shielding at home till at least mid July, the only thing we can do is keep on going. We plan to make the most of the opportunity to ‘home school’ making use of the skills and resources available to us (it will come as no surprise that our home school has it’s own name and brand!)

I can’t take on all the roles of Quinns’ team but I can still be an advocate for value over vulnerability by sharing our positive stories.

And one last thing if you’re needing a break in lockdown and haven’t watched the film Crip Camp yet I’d highly recommend it!

Stay home save lives

Photo of Quinns sitting on Big Sister's knee on a picnic mat with apple tree in the background.

Life is a bit full on for everyone at the moment. Round the clock caring responsibilities without a break as well as home schooling is keeping us busy. We are shielding at home for the next 12 weeks but we are happy, healthy and making the most of our time together.